monday

good thing i don’t want to be an investment banker!

still sunday-ish

dear diary, i had to tell you really quick that in all seriousness-bill murray sighting, la zona rosa. this is getting out of hand.

sunday

Today I had a very surreal afternoon. I went for a walk, during which I got chased by a dog and then I saw Robert Plant for the second time in two days except this time he wasn’t buying Stevie Nicks albums but was instead browsing the olive section at Central Market. I think it’s fate.

saturday.

Friday ACL Festival recap:

-Vampire Idiots. This pretty much sums up their personalities/stage presence. No love lost! I’ll probably still like your music because it’s so catchy! And meaningless!

-M. Ward. I’m in love!

-Jenny Lewis. Acid Tongue, Acid Tongue, Acid Tongue. That song was all I took out of the show. Nice denim overalls!

-David Byrne-who?

Then we got lost trying to find Whole Foods downtown. But it all worked out in the end and, like most nights, I ate a sandwich.

tuesday.

How does David Sedaris get off selling his appearances for $125.00 per ticket?! He’s reading a book outloud that probably everyone in the crowd has already read. He’s not even doing tricks or feeding me dinner! Where is the justice?!

sunday.

I’m turning into my grandma.

saturday.

I think there’s a shortage of Almond Breeze unsweetened vanilla almond milk, so, in the spirit of making a major life change, I have decided to switch from drinking almond milk to drinking 1% Central Market Organics brand milk.

Still haven’t written my paper.

friday.

TGIF, seriously. This week has been a downer. I think yesterday’s highlight of the day was eating an english muffin.

Maybe instead of writing english papers I should focus on more important things like finding a husband on the new Forbes 400 list. JK! I’d never marry Michael Bloomberg! (even though he is like #9)

wednesday.

Yesterday, the annoying girl in class who waves her hand for every answer and has a lisp whacked me in the head as her charm-bracelet-wearing wrist flailed through the air. I probably have permanent nerve damage from the imprint of a tiny sterling silver ballerina charm on my temple.

sunday

last night i went to a mystery dinner theater. weirdest night of my life! i ate fettuccine alfredo and cheesecake, made small talk for 2 hours, and laughed out of sympathy at awful jokes. The theme of the night was “being a suburban mom.”

then we rode the M bus and nearly died on the scariest ride of my life! our driver was so fiesty, and kept yelling at people about bus “rules” that i’m 90% sure are nonexistent. “You’re not allowed to ride the bus without your shirt fully buttoned!” “You’re not allowed to listen to headphones!”

to sum up the night, “I would have liked it better if I were…stupid”-Joey Kolker.

friday

Remind me to invest in some business casual staples that do not involve Ann Taylor flare-legged slacks.

I’m really at a loss, because everytime i google image said phrase, i am greeted by photos of belts, mary-kate olsen, and babies.

thursday.

I’ve had a stomachache now for 24 hours. Maybe it’s due to the copious amounts of reading that I’ve been doing from my journalism textbook “Mightier Than The Sword” (no clarification needed). Maybe I’m getting too much fiber in my diet.

In other news, there may be a hurricane! and I can’t stop listening to the Kinks. L-O-L-A Lola.

dilemma

We keep getting parcels of mail addressed to the girl who used to live in our home. Her name is Mollie. Today Mollie recieved a rather large package from Islandsales Street Team.

Should i open it: please select Y or N. I think that might be against the law but hello its called a forwarding address. Plus I think its a t-shirt. SO CURIOUS.

i have no shame.

A cheeseburger is not a sandwich! (despite what UT’s P.Powers might claim)

ps tonight i might attempt to make a tofu recipe if i stop setting off the fire alarm every time i cook. true story!

friday.

I feel like I’m really in my prime right now: Today I was in such a rush to get home that I got on the wrong bus. Then I was eating dinner and realized I was still wearing my name tag lanyard 3 hours later. Currently, I’ve been really itchy for approximately the last 45 minutes. Help me! Maybe I should go recreational grocery shopping to calm myself down.

bad decisions wednesday

drinking a large regular coffee at 10:00pm was a result of poor judgement. and for nothing: the “work” i attempted to accomplish in my caffeine-induced state turned out to be reading approximately 4 pages, 3 of which i will have to re-read again. i also tried to write some thank-you notes, but the only progress i made was opening the box.

on a more positive note, kashi “u” cereal not only enhances my vitality, like the packing promises, but it also tastes delicious. i eat it with milk that is 1/2 milk 1/2 water because i’m almost out of milk and i’m too lazy busy to go to the grocery store right now. desperate times.

my roommate also cooked some great couscous with raisins. but then it expanded too much and overflowed the kitchen. ay!

labor day.

i think my life revolves around refilling our brita water pitcher.

sunday.

I think in my haste I had forgotten that going back to school actually meant doing work again. I made it through 1.5 pages of the “Utilitarianism” chapter of my philosophy book before taking a 3-hour nap. Priorities.

On a side note, my roommate got a Barbie cake for her birthday, which was both awesome and creepy.

I was most curious about whether the cake contained an entire Barbie, or the cake-version “Paraplegic Barbie”.

It was the whole Barbie, thank god.

And somehow this happened last night. I don’t even know.