a bedtime story.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people don’t return their grocery carts. I mean, for the love of God it is maybe an additional twelve steps that you have to take. Is it so much to ask? Apparently, for some inconsiderate, spiteful people, yes it is. Yes, it seems that for many, those twelve steps would be the last twelve they could ever possibly be capable of taking. Either that, or they’re just lazy. Though it’s shocking, just between us I suspect the latter.

So today I was leaving the grocery store, just minding my own business. I load my $20 worth of granola bars groceries, put up my cart like a civilized person, and am just buckling my seat belt when I witness an act that filled me with disgust for the human race. Not only did this middle-aged man, his cart full of Bud Light and Cool Ranch Doritos (I’m taking a few liberties here), fail to lack the ability to put up his cart. No, no that wasn’t enough. He pushed (and I’m not even exaggerating here) PUSHED his cart into the middle of the parking lot. He then hopped right into his car, and zoomed off.

The best part? He’s driving a Prius, ladies and gentlemen.

Meanwhile, it’s not like I’m the only person who noticed this. Others took note. Namely the ones who are waving their fists in equal parts desperation and disgust because a jumbo-sized HEB cart is blocking their car from driving in the middle of the lane. Frankly, it was embarassing. And usually I’m no martyr, but I took one for the team this time. I got out of my car and moved the cart, cursing the whole way back to the cart rack UNTIL…

something caught my eye in the bottom of the very cart I was pushing. Paper. I picked it up, doubtful, expecting the eco-friendly doucebag’s receipt, wondering about how he possibly could stand to look at himself in the mirror, knowing he drove a Prius and didn’t even recycle his own receipts. His carbon footprint just doubled. However, what do I actually find? No receipt, but instead a coupon for 4 free yogurts. Only I would get excited about this, obviously. But still. It’s free. It’s yogurt. I’m happy. Karma, baby.